Writing Samples Critiqued with Tips

Writing Samples by E-mazingstories Members

for the Writer of the Month Contest and my Critique's of them.

(Scores are from 1 to 10)

1) Princessnazy123's sample;
As I slept dreamily, flashbacks of my recent cuts flashed my mind until I saw a familiar face. Kathy. I hated her. She was saying something to me, that I found was inaudible. What was she saying? As soon as her picture flashed away, another arrived. It wasn't someone familiar. It was black beauty. My worst nightmare. She was arriving gloomily up to me, until..  

Critique of princessnazy123's sample;
• It was dramatic and suspenseful. 
• The weakest part was the last sentence, in my opinion. The word choice/placement was a bit awkward. 
• This sample was very descriptive though, which is nice, but some of the adjectives seemed forced. I think you could have found a way to fit them in more smoothly. 
• I also suggest using paragraphing. It adds to the suspense and neatness of the story. 

Score; 8 Overall, good piece. I would be interested in reading more. 


2) Redstargal's sample;
My limb arched around a tall, slender pine; much like myself. "Snap," was heard from the ground, where rusting orange needles shelter it.
- - -
Down I fell from part of God's earth, & a split second later, a dark rain cloud rested on my eyes, disturbing my vision. All I could recall.
Still small twigs lay over my legs, & mother was putting great pressure on my wounds. Pain had found it's way into my arm...
Papa's familiar ax with the wooden handle was slung over the shoulder of his red flannel shirt. The sight was a medicine to my pain.
A lesson had to be learned from this. Trees of no strength & little girls do not result to a good ending.
THE END

Critique of Redstargal's sample;

• Interesting and unique subject for writing.

• It was kind of implying what was happening without giving it away. I can only assume she needed an amputation?

• I liked your writing format and the fact that you used paragraphing and symbols to show a gap in time. I suggest indenting though as well. 

• Very descriptive and detailed, yet it wasn't done in a way that made it easy to understand. It was kind of awkward. It also made it mysterious though, like a riddle.

Score; 6 Overall, it was interesting, but I wouldn't read more because of the way it was written. It was hard to follow. I really want to know what happened to this girl though! :)

3) R.Fox's sample;

I was in my bedroom crying,as I watch bombs falling from the hovercrafts. I start crying."Queen Bellene a prisoner wants to see you" one of my peace guards said. "Okay" I reply to them. I went into the royal throne room. "You are arrest..FOREVER! Have a nice day. Guards,send him to the chamber! I go back up to my room and sing a song. I notice a strong light in my window. "Queen Bellene,as your punishment for your evil costs,you will be gone for good!" I was shocked by the light's comment,cause that,was my worst nightmare. It dragged me into it. "Noooooooooo!" I was in the light now. Then,all of the sudden,I could only see white. I was doing motions that I did not even new. Now,this is not my worst nightmare...it was my worst moment.

Critique of R.Fox's sample;

• This plot has potential and I can see it becoming a full story.

• I can tell this story was done by a young person, because there are common mistakes. Such as verb tense changes and not putting quotations in the proper places.

• Suspenseful, but once again. If the writer would have used proper paragraphing and indenting, It would have been better.

• It was actually pretty easy to follow, but it could have been more descriptive. If she had used more adjectives or details, it would have been even easier to follow.

Score; 7 Overall, I see potential. I assume this is a young writer, so seeing past the mistakes, I see a great imagination. I think this person will be a wonderful story teller later on in life once they learn more grammar, etc.

4) sillymillie7's sample;

Dasher the pony walked round the lush green gardens of the Rightlin family.Little Elsa the daughter of Alyssa Rightlin rode Dasher to the grocery store everyday and back.Elsa's life was kinda boring.She gathered up the fruit and veg that Alyssa wanted.Elsa sadly rode home with Dasher plodding along happily.
"Oh Dasher I do wish mother would do it herself," Elsa mumbled.
Her mother did not approve of Elsa's dress.Elsa was wearing Alyssa's favorite royal purple gown.Dasher had a little pony named Alder. Her baby was growing into a full grown horse and was ready for playing.

Critique of sillymillie7's sample;

• Good use of language. I can tell it is a historical piece and when Elsa spoke, it sounded old fashioned.

• Nice adjectives. I liked the descriptive words and explanatory sentences.

• Although, this sample isn't suspenseful enough. The point of a sample is to wow me. I liked it though. I have a soft spot for historical fiction.

• In depth story; I felt like the people were well thought out. I could tell there was history behind them.

Score; 5 Overall, good writing, but not a proper sample. It didn't show that the writer was fighting to win. I might not read more for that reason.

5) EllyGoldie's sample;

I heard them coming. Their heavy footsteps. Just the smell of their breath was enough to make anyone's blood curl. But I can't see them, just the dark forest ahead of me. The alpha male howls, the pack stop. Immediately I jump up the nearest tree. I turn and see them, I guess the howl gave it all away. A pack of nine well built, strong, grey wolf faced me. Every one of them was snarling at me. Fear stung me like an electric shock.

"Melissa?" Someone was shaking me. "Melissa!" My eyes open. The forest had gone. I was in my boring, everyday bedroom, my sister, Lily faced me. "Nightmares?" I nod, she sweeps a lock of golden brown hair from my face. "Me too." She sighs.

Critique of EllyGoldie's sample;

• Finally, a sample that is smoothly told and easy to follow. I can tell this writer is older also.

• Good grammar, except for plurals in certain places or where wolf should have been "wolves". Other then that, it was very correct, which was a breath of fresh air.

• I think there could have been more paragraphing. A paragraph is a complete thought or when each person speaks. I feel like many thoughts were jumbled together, but it can easily be fixed.

• Nice plot, but it isn't that original. I like the suspense level though, so it makes up for it. A good old fashioned chase scene never gets old.

Score; 6 Overall, wonderful sample, because it's correctly written. Even if it isn't super creative, it has grammar and so I might read more.

6) binlezzy's sample;

As I walked down the damp road, which just got cleaned, I whisper to myself, Wait, what was I doing again? Then I remembered, my aunt Lolo told me to fetch some water from the sewer for Donald. Donald is my pet. As soon as I gathered up the water, I went for a small walk around the country side. " Hey Lulu." My friend Jona said. " Hey. What are you doing here? You live in the city, " I said curiously. " I ran away. My mother is getting in a bunch of fights. I came to live in the farm, well my uncle`s farm." He replied. " Well I wish you good! " I said and left. As soon as I got home, my aunt said " where have you been? "

Critique of binlezzy's sample;

• The biggest problem is paragraphing. When a person speaks, it needs it's own paragraph. That bothered me a bit. It makes it harder to decipher who was speaking.

• I liked that it explained what was happening. It told me who Donald was, etc.

• Nice adjectives, but there could have been more. It was just enough to make me happy, but not enough to impress me.

• Again, this sample wasn't suspenseful. It needs to be so dramatic I am begging to read more. It's good writing, but it's not showing you're trying to win something.

Score; 5 Overall, above average sample. It was almost perfect grammar and well thought over, but it could have been better. I probably wouldn't read more of it, but I did enjoy it.

7) ValleyMoonMist's sample;

I entered in Dawn Bridge Castle.A tune sang the sorrows of my doom.A person called me in for tea.Two sugar cubes in a mug.i felt dizzy.For a long time i stared at the ceiling full of spirals with small safflowers showering with delightful perfume.Then Harlequin came in,i suddenly felt out of breath and then i realized i was heading for death.I woke up feeling a sudden urge to scream.Harlequin was Alive!i thought he was dead.Coming out to kill me? i know i throwed him off the throne but....oh come on think Edwyn think! Now,looking back was not an option anymore.

Critique of ValleyMoonMist's sample;

• Very choppy, but I liked it. It felt the point of view of a person being dizzy or poisoned. It was mysterious too.

• Simple grammar errors were found. Capitalization errors are pure laziness and it makes me go crazy.

• It wasn't super suspenseful, but just enough for my taste. It also lacked paragraphing and indenting. It would have really help the score.

• Nice adjectives and descriptive words. It pulled it together nicely and was probably the saving factor.

Score; 6 Overall, it was entertaining, because of the choppy/dizzy way it was told. I enjoyed it and would probably read more of it!

8) alyssathesheep's sample;

"No y-y-you can't do this to me!" wailed Helen. "You just can't!" She ran across the street. "Helen!" yelled Brad after her. "C'mon, we can talk about this!" She ran. She kept running. She couldn't stop! How could Brad do such a thing?!? And with her best friend!?!? How could he cheat on her like that?!? Tears were streaming down her pale face. Brad was the one guy she ever liked. The one guy who made her feel special, beautiful. And now he was gone. She'd never be able to forgive him. Never. His words kept replaying in her head. 'Helen we need to talk. Helen, don't take this the wrong way.' HELEN, HELEN HELEN!! "Ugh!" she screamed and banged her head against a wall. Her head throbbed. She rubbed her bruised fore-head. She thought Megan was her friend. Her BFF. When really all she wanted was her boyfriend!

Critique of alyssathesheep's sample;

• Incredible suspense. Have you done this before? (lol) It's very well written and exactly what a sample should be; full of suspense. 

• It's very realistic and can hit close to home for a lot of people, so for that reason it was a wise topic choice. It can be easily dramatized. We can feel the characters emotions also, which I love.

• Paragraphing would be very helpful for a scene like this, because there is so much going on, especially dialogue. It would really help out the reader and improve understanding.

• Great word choice and grammar. The word choice is so real and the story is told so well. I respect this kind of writing, because I wrote a long story like this and it's hard to be taken seriously. You accomplished this.

Score; 9 Overall, I LOVE IT. It's one of my guilt pleasures to read dramatic teen fiction. I'd totally read more.

9) Egzzyy's sample;

The dust lay as damp grey blanket on the window sill.
Years ago, this house was a party full of joy; party poppers, colour, happiness, friendship and love. That was until this 'demon' started lurking around every inch and every corner of this house: scaring and fearing the little children who used to play innocently beyond its walls.
Now, well it was just the same except from the fact that there was no people anymore, just paranormal happenings been seen through the windows by neighbours. Just like the house down the street.
"Have you seen the house down the street?" or "I saw something... in... in the win..dow."
Everyone dreaded to look back through the moulding, green stained windows of glass that belonged to the house.
Of course, the family was okay, you didn't need to worry, this thing wasn't after the people inside it. It wanted the people around it.

Critique of Egzzyy's sample;

• The first sentence has a mistake, which is a no-no. It sets a bad example for the rest of the sample, which in this case is very good.

• Very nice flow and description. It has lots of adjectives and explains the story of this house very nice. It's easy to follow, yet slightly mysterious. It could have had a bit more adjectives, but it isn't a major issue.

• I love the use of dialogue in the middle. It's a playful touch that I love to see. It can also break up all the details.

• Nice paragraphing, now you just need indenting. It also wasn't very suspenseful, but it was still a good sample...

Score; 6 Overall, it was pretty good. It wasn't as suspenseful as it could have been. My favorite part was the dialogue. I might read more, I'm undecided.

How to: Go Pink

How to: Go Pink

Using MeDoll: E-mazing

Step by Step

Step 1

Step 2

Step 3

Step 4

Step 5

Step 6

This "Go Pink" look is good, because it's not too pink. It's a perfect balance of neutrals and color. You see the theme, without being over powered by it. I encourage you to try this look and make it your own.


Thank you so much for reading! :)

Pulling off a Color Themed MeDoll

lovevintage200's winning photo for Contest in Club E-mazingstories

Pulling off a color themed Medoll isn't easy. It takes a lot of talent. You can either go two ways; way one is subtle. Way two is crazy. I suggest going subtle. Why? If you go crazy with a color, example green hair, green makeup, green jewelry, etc then you might come off as immature or as a newbie. It takes a ton of skill to pull off all that color. If you go subtle, then you can look so much more sophisticated and stunning. Look at the photo above. You can tell the color is green, can't you? It's truly beautiful. If you want that same result, then read these tips below:

1. Pick features that create an expression; sad, angry, laughing. If your Medoll has a straight face, it doesn't make as much of an impact. Pay attention to the eye brows, that's a big part of expressions.
2. Eye color is important. It can be a subtle way to make your color pop. If it wasn't for the eyes in lovevintage200's photo, you wouldn't know the color theme was green. Use colored contacts to match any color you need.
3. Less is more, when it comes to makeup. When picking colors, don't be afraid to go neutral. Your Medoll should only have two focal points; for example, in this picture the only thing with a pop of color is the eyes and earrings. When you only have 2 focal points, your eyes bounce back and forth and it creates the illusion there's more color then there actually is.
4. Imperfections= Perfection. Simple things like moles, freckles, piercings and more. Use these to fill in spaces. It makes your Medoll more detailed without adding more color or over powering the theme. If you add lots of jewelry it becomes to much and your eyes don't know where to focus.
5. Coloring is important. Choose colors that contrast, but not too much. If you have light skin, choose dark hair. If you have two lights or two darks, the color theme is too choppy. Use contrasting, but blending colors. 

I hope these tips helped. Thank you for readings and please comment! :)

Multiple Discussion Pages

My Biggest Pet Peeve 

    Most Clubs have more then 1 Page of Discussions, and while that means they have more topics, it doesn't always mean more activity. I've surveyed members of my own club and I've noticed that many of them forget to check the 2nd page of Discussions. It's not their fault.
    I forget too.
    Those topics generally aren't on the first page for a reason. They're not as posted in and therefore not as fun? Maybe. In my club, I hate having more then one page. It bothers me. I try to sort through and get rid of unneeded topics that push it to 2 pages. I notice that if you have more then 2 pages, your club is less active. It's my biggest Pet Peeve and a very important one. I think these tips can help you solve this problem.

• Set up rules to stop spam/advertising/chain mail topics
• Have topics for all questions, comments, suggestions, and thank yous to be posted in
• Make rules so every topic not posted in at least once a week will be deleted
• Limit the amount of topics a member can post a week, a month, or at once
• Set up lots of reminders to check the 2nd page: In presentation, poll, guestbook, etc
• Post in the least active topics and move up the list to the top

    I hope these tips help. I encourage you to keep your Topics under 1 page. It will make it easier to be active and you can see them all at once. Good luck! ♥

How to Make 'Fake' Legs

     This is a picture of my final result for Stardoll 'Fake' Legs. Take a look at this picture and if you want to know how I did it, then watch the video below for details. 

Watch the video below for Details: 

Thank you for watching! ♥

Advertising for Winners!

I promised two contest winners a chance to advertise in my blog.

This is the chance!

Please read what they have to say and follow their request. 

Click on Rubee3's Advertisement to View her Page:

Hey everyone! I would like to say thank you to E-mazing for letting me be on her fantastic blog! Stardoll is a super fun place, and I'd like to get to know you! My username is Rubee3, so if you'd like to drop by, maybe sign my guestbook and heart my yearbook! Stay Beautiful, girly! ~Rubee3

Click on Rubee3's Advertisement to View her Page:

Please join club YoungAuthors if you like reading/ writing stories! Thereis also tips on writing a story, AND a quiz EVERY week! Thank you! ~laura_lolx

Thank you for making their 

winning experience better! ♥

Trading System

Imagine how fun it would be if Stardoll 

created a system for safe trading?
Maybe if stardoll wanted they could have a trading fee?
It might be a reason for Stardoll to make this system. 

How it might work: A system like bazaar, only instead of money you could offer items. Then if both traders agreed, their items would be swapped. Then you go back to your suite and each of them see a shiny package holding their newly traded items! It would be simple and organized and most importantly; safe.

How it would effect: It would eliminate scams and all this drama. Nobody would loose their items or be put at risk. There would be no reason to speak of trading like members attempt now. It would make stardoll more peaceful and respectful place...

What do you think? I hope you share your ideas and opinions! 

Please and thank you! ♥

Anonymous Interview: Through a Non-Superstars Eyes

They take up a majority of Stardoll and they can be identified by the pink ribbon around their page. They don't have a shiny star or diamond, but that's all that separates them from the rest. Non-superstars. Do you judge them differently? 

Comment your thoughts on the subject.

Well, here's the opinion of 1 Non-superstar. She requests to stay anonymous, but take her opinion seriously.  This is the stardoll world through a Non-superstar's eyes.

Q's and A's:

Q: How long have you been on stardoll, have you ever been a superstar?
A: I have been on stardoll for 2 years now, since 2011. No, I have never been a superstar.


Q: Are you rich? Why won't they let you get a superstar?
A: Not rich rich. My parents do have a lot of money though. That's not the issue. I can't find one.

Q: Would you be superstar if you had the chance?
A: Hm, I have always wanted to be, so yes.

Q: What's your opinion on superstar membership?
A: Well, Ss, all that it gives you is a few more royalties. I personally think there is no point in it. Just because you get some 'star' it doesn't mean your going to be treated any different. Okay, a few more royalties, that's all. Nothing else. It doesn't afford you unity, not like non-ss does.


Q: Are all superstars the same, does becoming superstar change a persons views?
A: Hm...Sometimes it does.

Q: How would you change if you became superstar?
A: I would have better clothing, but I wouldn't change from the inside. I would probably change my point of view , though.

Q: Should superstars and non-superstars be judged differently?
A: Never! They should be treated EXACTLY the same. All the difference is, that superstar have a golden star. JUST a symbol, nothing else. Everybody should be treated fairly. Never,ever, ever, should they be treated anyhow differently. That is called being unfair.


Q: How are non-superstars treated different from superstars?
A: The way that they are treated is despicable. They get treated like they aren't human, like they have no feelings. They hurt them more, for the way they look. And superstar, they get all of the opposite things I have said.

Q: How do you believe a stardoll member should be judged?
A: I don't think stardoll should be judge at all. Although, for a competition, I believe they should be judged by their work. Ex: Miss E-mazingstories shouldn't be judged for what they look like, but for their work . I understand, that is snobby, some people work very hard for that , and they don't get it.

Q: Is superstar membership unfair?
A: Not really. You pay for it, so no it is fair.

Q: Does having superstar make your medoll better then non-superstar's medolls?
A: Not really. No superstars tend to be prettier, because superstar gives you the royalty into buy lots of makeup, making you wear lots of it. And non-superstars look more natural. 

Q: What if the superstar is prettier then the non-superstar?
A: No matter what, they should NEVER be treated differently. Whether they're prettier, doesn't mean that they should be treated differently. So, Never, Ever, Ever!


Q: Don't you think it's fair that in a beauty contest, the 'prettier' superstar be chosen?
A: Well. I suppose so.. If the rules are prettier. But not just for Superstar.

Q: What makes a medoll beautiful?
A: Well, their personality. Not their looks.


Q: Why, when voting, do people tend to choose superstars over non-superstars?
A: Apparently, because they are 'prettier'.

Q: If it were a contest, for example, covergirl, what's your opinion on judging?
A: Well, covergirl, It's a hard one. From that view, I think they should be judged ONLY then by their clothing. Simply because that is was covergirl is about. But not always. It should be judged by their personality, too. Because that is your opinion, too.

Q: What about their Medoll itself, for example, their face/hair?
A: Well, I think it's your opinion. You vote them, if you like how they look, and their personality. End of Story.


Q: How do you think superstars feel about your opinion?
A: I think they will agree with my recent answer, but not with my non-superstar views.

Q: What is your message to superstars who judge non-superstar?
A: Don't judge them. because at the end of the day, it is just a web.

Debate

This is a good nature debate between, an anonymous non-superstar and a superstar, me.

Anon: I totally agree with *Username 1*, she hasn't had her time, so it was her time then, but as she's not 'pretty' in other girls words, they never chose her. Apparently, somebody said why they chose *Username 2*: "Cos' she's the prettiest and she's superstar" I'm not going to reveal who said that. I just believe non-superstars should be treated just like Ss.

Me: It's all majority opinion. *Username 2* was voted by a majority. It's all opinion. Whatever the reasons- they have a right to pick a favorite. In my opinion, superstar isn't an unfair advantage. I've seen STUNNING non superstars. It just takes practice to be beautiful. They shouldn't be treated the same, because if a person wants to put in the effort and funds to improve, let them. However I dislike when people favor them just because of the star, I think it's just a symbol. It's what they do with the star that matters.

Anon: You don't understand! I don't want to be pretty, I want the rights to be RIGHT. For once, I'm sticking up for non-superstar. Your right there. A symbol that's all.

Me: What do you mean? I mean, a symbol is just that, you shouldn't judge a person as better then the other just by the symbol. But you also shouldn't think of a superstar less, because they're somehow cheating. If a person spent the money and time to be a better version of them self- they deserve it. You should judge the doll, if the superstar doll appears prettier, why should you count it out?

Anon: I mean, non-superstars should be treated equally. All that 'star' is, is just a symbol. They dress up, beautifully, and us non-superstars ? We don't have the right for that. Just because they LOOK nice, doesn't mean they are nice. And to be honest, most superstars are just completely and utterly snobby, just by their looks. However, non-superstars, they don't care how they look - as they don't  have that privilege to have those things. It's like - Rich people - they're mostly snobby, and poor - they aren't. 90% Of Rich'ies are snobby, and the other poor 10%? They are not. Understand?

Me: That's a stereotype. Yes, there are snobby rich people, but you don't have to be rich to be superstar. I'm nowhere near rich. A person could buy a million superstar cards, but it takes talent to be beautiful, not money.

Anon: Exactly! Then why judge Us by even trying? We try so hard, and nobody accepts us.

Me: I'm just saying that, non superstars can be beautiful too, it takes talent, not money. They shouldn't hate on superstars as being all rich and snobby. It's not unfair that they spent money. People can work hard for money and for their stardoll.

Anon: Ugh. No Superstars ever understand. 

Me: You can help me understand and I can share my side. We can help each other. I really want to hear your side and understand exactly how you feel. Because I think I understand you more then you think.

Owner of first Stardoll Club: robin

This is robin, he was the previous owner of Stardoll's first club; OriginalClub It had hundreds of thousands of members. It was huge, sadly it was deleted. He is in my opinion Stardoll famous. He's been around for years and it seems that a lot of people recognize his username as the great guy who created the hang out spot nicknamed; OC. Many have recreated his club, but none quite the same. 

After OriginalClub was deleted, he didn't make another club. As of February 7th, he was only a member of 3 clubs (2 he is managing). I am lucky enough to be on robin's friend list and this morning he happened to be online. My club E-mazingstories had 1699 members and I got the coolest idea that what if robin was my 1700th member? It would be an honor for me. I ask him and crossed my fingers. Later, I hadn't thought he'd joined, but to my delighted surprise he joined my club! This is a big deal to me, because my club is the 4th club he's a member of. It's an honor to have this amazing guy in my club, it raises the bar for me as an owner and makes me super happy. I don't know how long this will last, but I hope he sticks around! I saved our conversation special for my blog, so take a look:

Me: This is not a duplicate. I was wondering if you'd do me the honor of being the 1700th member in my club, E-mazingstories? It's really fun, I promise. If you don't like it- you can unjoin, but I'd really appreciate it! Thank you... 

robin: ☺ Me: I don't think I've ever talked to you before, so this is cool. Thanks for at least reading my message. robin: sure, but i don't really join a lot of clubs nothing personal Me: I understand, I don't either, but it was worth a shot. robin: i read everything.... just don't always have time to reply Me: Oh okay, cool. If you don't join my club, would you mind telling me what you think of just the front page? Your club was obviously a big success so... it would be super cool. 

Him: Looks nice! 

Me: Thank you! 

Him: ☺

Thank you, robin! ♥

Club Reviews: Advice, Suggestions & Ideas

Club Reviews

I want to help people improve their clubs, so even if these aren't your clubs I'm reviewing, the advice I will give is for everyone. Just take a look and I'm sure something will help you improve your own club! :)

Club #1: Eclipse.High.RP  

http://www.stardoll.com/en/clubs/home.php?id=3976410

First Impression: It appears to be neat, that the Owner cares, and it has Potential.

Club Name: The name itself is unique, but the idea of a High School Role play is very over used- not to say that this is a bad club, but it might not stand apart from the rest.

Club Presentation: The good; It's short, which might make people more eager to read it. The bold lettering catches your attention. It's short and to the point. It looks organized. The bad; It has spelling/grammar errors. I notice that first. It could have a fancy format, but that's not a big problem. (Visit E-mazingPages) It shouldn't say the club is average, it should say the opposite!

Club Poll: Fail. I'm sorry, but it's VERY simple to make a Poll. Even leaving it blank is better then this club's Poll, which is currently just a bunch of dots "...". I suggest a Poll about the members' opinions on an upcoming event or how to improve the club.

Club Details: I love it. The description is short and catchy. It has a good amount of members and the owner's picture looks quite friendly. Those 3 things are important.

Club Guestbook: It is empty, except for 1 post, which is an advertisement. That's a no-no. That looks like the club is not active. I suggest deleting the advertisement and write a welcoming message instead. That makes a good impression.

Club Topics: An active club is important and the most recent posts were 19 hours ago and 1 day ago. The rest were on average, 6-7 days ago. I suggest holding an active contest. If nothing else works, the owner should be active. Slowly others will join in. I like the choice of Spot Topics, their are maybe too many though. The other topics are very uniform- I like it. There are too many topics though, which is a waste of space, and some have 0 replies. I suggest clearing out. 

Club Sceneries: There are none. I suggest making at least 1 scenery in the club. It should be a welcoming Scenery, which could go on the front page. You can NEVER be too welcoming. Your members should feel loved. 

Overall Opinion: This club seems above average. I think the owner cares a lot about the club and it shows. It's nearly complete and has a lot of potential. I think all it needs is active members. It's worth joining in my opinion! :)

Club #2: Words_On_Paper

http://www.stardoll.com/en/clubs/home.php?id=2284611

First Impression: It looks like an experienced club, with not a lot of wow factor but a lot of effort and a lot happening inside.

Club Name: The name is unique. It relates to the purpose very well and is catchy. Story clubs can be over used, but they can never be over appreciated! There's so much to love!

Club Presentation: The good; It's elegant and has a picture, which is nice. It's easy to read and shares a lot about the club. It mentions things that if read, would make me want to join. The bad; It doesn't jump out at me and I might not read it. It needs some bold lettering or contrast to catch my attention.

Club Poll: It's a classic, simple and helpful poll. It's a bit boring though, mostly because I'm already a member and this Poll has been the same forever. It should be changed to keep members interested in it.

Club Details: It has a great # of members and the owner looks creative and dedicated. The description is inviting and short, but maybe a little too simple. It should be more encouraging or boast about the club just a bit.

Club Guestbook: It's empty, but I don't think that's bad in this case. I think it just means everybody's in the topics. Maybe a welcome message, but it's not always needed.

Club Topics: They appear semi active, but the thing that turns me off is that a spot topic says 2 weeks ago. Especially spot topics shouldn't be inactive. Their are topics with hundreds of posts, which is good. It shows the club is active in that way, and aged. I like the variety of topics and how a majority are stories. I think some games might help members be active.

Club Sceneries: REPEATED ADVICE; There are none. I suggest making at least 1 scenery in the club. It should be a welcoming Scenery, which could go on the front page. You can NEVER be too welcoming. Your members should feel loved. 

Overall Opinion: I was happily surprised by this club. I think the presentation and lack of members is deceiving because It's actually a very cool club and the owner is VERY nice and active. I suggest this club because it reminds me of mine in some ways. I know some day it will be big! :)

Club #3: Twisted_Tales

http://www.stardoll.com/en/clubs/home.php?id=4139022

First Impression: Honestly, a good attempt but possibly not a good club. (Keep reading. I prove myself wrong!)

Club Name: Really cool, and I love it. It sounds fantasy and fun! It doesn't tell me what the club's about though, my guess would be fantasy or stories?

Club Presentation: The good; It's really easy to read and I love the bits of color that pop out at me. It makes it fun and organized. I like the content too, it's inviting and makes me want to join. The bad; The bold lettering is my only bad thing about the presentation. It is hard to read, but I like the idea of bold lettering, so I suggest just changing the font.

Club Poll: I really like it, it's relevant and fun- but also slightly funny!

Club Details: It's a small club so far, but the description is good. It looks official and to the point. I like it. The owner looks like the perfect person for a club like this, which I really like.

Club Guestbook: It has lots of posts, which are friendly discussion between members. I really like that. It feels friendly and homey. It makes me want to join in! 

Club Topics: There's a perfect amount of topics, I love it, but they are not active. Most says 0 replies or are a few days old. I see some talk of contests, which catches my attention. I also like that there are lots of topics for the members to advertise, comment, etc. The topics have a lot of potential.

Club Sceneries: Repeated Advice; There are none. I suggest making at least 1 scenery in the club. It should be a welcoming Scenery, which could go on the front page. You can NEVER be too welcoming. Your members should feel loved. 

Overall Opinion: This club is beyond average. It has a lot of dedicated members and HUGE prizes for contests. I love this club, not only because I'm Co-Owner, but because it's always improving and a great writing environment. :)

THANK YOU FOR READING